Seller’s Remorse – It’s Not What You Think

If you ask most homeowners what they think “Seller’s Remorse” is, they would probably say something like, “Well, it’s that feeling that maybe you could have gotten more money for your house if you had waited a little longer.”

Actually, Seller’s Remorse happens long before a buyer makes an offer and you agree to accept it. It can be very scary because it catches you unaware.

For weeks or months you thought about finding a new home. Maybe you need more or less space, maybe you need to move for your career, but whatever the reason, you focused on that new house. It’s exciting to think about having a new home and making it your own. Then it’s time to sell you current house.

So you find a real estate agent you like and trust, someone you think will work well for and with you. You do some fixing up, and you take the agent’s advice about staging your home so it shows to best advantage. Then one day a sign appears out front…”For Sale”…and it hits you. You think, “Oh, no….what have I done?” Doubt and fear creep in to make you feel depressed and somehow alone. How could you leave the house where you made a home and many memories? Sure, the new house will be nice, but it won’t be home, at least not for a while. If you are moving out of your neighborhood, it dawns on you that you’ll have to find a new grocery store, find out where your new post office is, and countless other details of daily living.

Congratulations – you’re normal. You are leaving your comfort zone, and that’s a hard thing to do for anyone. The good news is that you are not alone, and there are things you can do to help you feel better.

First, do your best to disengage emotionally from the sale of your house. This is why you hired a professional to help you sell your home; a financial decision should not be made when your reasoning is clouded by emotion. Remind yourself that when you made the decision to sell, you added your home to an inventory of houses for sale. Strangers will look at it but they won’t be able to see your memories or the things you have come to love about it.

There may be other homes for sale that are similar in style to yours, and they might sell first. Things that you love about your home might not be as attractive to potential buyers. You loved the special hardware you put on the kitchen cabinets, but not every buyer will agree. This doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with your home or the hardware, it’s just not what they want. Focus on the new home and your plans for it. When you chose it, you probably saw some things – like hardware – that you thought, “I’ll change that.” Then remind yourself that is exactly what potential buyers are saying when they look at your home.

You have only so much emotional energy at this time. Use it to make your new home and new neighborhood familiar and welcoming. If the new home is near, spend time driving around and getting used to the streets and the town. If it’s too far away, ask the agent there to take some photographs of the home, the grounds, the neighborhood, maybe the schools and shopping, so you can share them with your family. Soon enough, that comfortable feeling of home will greet you when you walk through the new door. There will be no Seller’s Remorse, just good memories of your former home.

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